Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Too Long a Stranger

Hello, dear friends. It has been a long, long time. I always hate it when bloggers make excuses as to why they have been MIA...honestly, we all "get" happens and when it does something has to give...and if blogging isn't your bread and butter, it is the first thing to go. But, to be honest...I haven't been any more busy than I usually am, well, at least not TOO much more than normal. I have been sad. Not the kind of sad that anyone really notices or the kind of sad that holds up my day. Just the kind of sad that I feel in my bones and keeps me from wanting to write very much. I used this blog during my Grandpa's illness and to pay tribute to his passing. I shared in one of the last posts that I we had sung, "It is Well With My Soul" and wanted to believe that. I prayed that someday I would....I think I have been waiting until it was to start writing again....and a few days ago I realized a startling truth, IT MIGHT NEVER BE WELL FOR MY SOUL. Today I went to the Doctor to have an ankle that i turned over the weekend looked....they went through the usual questions of my phone number, address, insurance, and then she said, "Walter is listed as your Emergency Contact." That one sentence knocked the wind right out of me. I barely whispered, "He's deceased." and gave her my parent's number. I limped to the waiting room with tears in my eyes. It seems too crazy that he's gone. Too crazy that he can't be my emergency contact. It is most definitely not well with my soul. BUT, I know he'd be shaking his head and wagging his long pointer finger at me for making such a 'big deal' out of his I've decided to chin up, get back on the horse, and start writing again. He'd be saying, "That's ENOUGH now." So, here I go. Thanks for being here and reading.

1 comment:

The Detloff Family said...

I am so glad to see you back sharing. I hope that writing/blogging will help you, possibly writing how you are feeling will help sort through the emotions/pain of the loss. Treasure the times you shared together, document the love so your little ones can see the foundation of where your spirit and love come from.