Thursday, February 2, 2012

Shut It

Here's What....I have the greatest friends.

I know everyone THINKS that (or at least I HOPE they do!) but I really mean it. I often hear about the "drama" people are dealing with in regards to various friends on Facebook and my head spins..."WHAT?! Aren't these people your FRIENDS?!" And I feel sorry for them. I don't have that. At all. Ever. Praise the Lord, right?!

So, about a month ago I when I was actually a tiny bit frustrated with a friend it caught me off guard. I thought, " this me?!" and "What is REALLY bothering you here?" And when I couldn't shake it I called the wisest person I know. My Mom.

I spilled my guts to her about what was bothering me and concluded with, "I guess I should just talk to her about it."

Her response was, "WHY?"

I was baffled. Hadn't she just heard me? I was her DAUGHTER, wasn't she on my side? I grunted, "Huh?"

"Sweetie. What can she do about this? Can she really change what's happening? How is she going to react when you bring it up? How do you think she'll feel knowing you've been upset with her? Is this really a make-it or break-it topic for your friendship? Because if you bring it up, it may hurt your relationship in a way that you can't heal."

I was blown away. Our culture today rarely encourages us to keep quiet. We're told to be empowered, to share our feelings and not bottle things up. Facebook and Twitter are available for us to share absolutely anything that pops into our minds. With hundreds of people. Any time of day. We're living in a world where NOT sharing what's on our minds isn't standard.

But you know what? My Mom was 100% correct.

There was really no other way my friend could have handled the situation based on what she knew and the resources she had.
If I had brought it up, it would have made her feel badly.
And this annoyance and frustration is nothing when compared to all the lovely and amazing things this friend and I have shared.
In fact, as time has passed I look back on the situation and realize I was over-reacting and being selfish in my own desires.

Truly, to keep quiet was the best solution...and one I plan to continue to implement when it is appropriate, because even that tiny taste of one-sided "drama" was too much for me!

Nicely done, Mom.
Nicely done.

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