Friday, February 3, 2012

You'll Miss This When They're Gone

Have you read this post by about seizing the day with your children on Momastery? If not, you should. And, if I may, I'd like to add a little side commentary. You see, I am already THAT Mom that sobs if I think too much about my kids growing up and leaving the house. Heck, I get choked up when I consider sending the kids to school outside our house!

Despite previous posts, I ADORE my children. Not only because they are my flesh and blood, but because they are great people. I find them interesting and funny. They have good ideas and ask good questions. I like how they smell, how warm their little bodies are, how they ask for an apple as a snack. I giggle when I overhear them playing and grin as I listen to them tell jokes. It makes my heart happy when they use their manners or when I hear them pray. Just writing the reasons I love them is getting me choked up because I have known from the second I saw those two lines on that stick that they would have to leave someday. That each moment wouldn't be spent together. That I wouldn't get to know every second of their day. That at some point I wouldn't be the center of their universe and know exactly what their current favorite color or movie of choice is. Just typing it has my eyes completely blurry with tears.

I don't have to be told that someday I will miss them...I know it all too well. And my Mom (yes, the Wise One) knew it too. Eight years ago when I was pregnant with Finn and was sharing what activities I couldn't be a part of when the baby came she reminded me that, "Someday you'll have all kinds of time to do those things." And I took that to heart. I started a list. So that one day, when I'm sitting here sobbing I won't drown in my own tears!

Here's the list of things that I will do when my children are grown and I don't get to be in their every-days:

1. Join the church choir.
I love to sing, but with 4 little ones and a husband who works in the church on Wed. evenings when the choir rehearses...well, you get the idea.

2. Play in the community band
I tried to do this when we lived in T-town...but again, 2 littles at the time, a busy husband...my flute sits untouched.

3. Practice Piano
I have a lovely baby-grand piano that I taught piano lessons to pay for...and I never get to play. When the kids would leave me be they are asleep...and I need them to stay that way...so I don't play.

4. Read books
Love to Read Month?! How 'bout I LOVE TO READ YEAR?! I LOVE reading books. Alas, I currently read homeschooling books and magazines. Someday...the classics...and not in the bathroom while the kids watch t.v. on the couch with a cup of HOT tea.

5. Finish a cup of Tea while it's hot.
I'm told that this DOES happen for some people...I'm excited. Very excited.

6. Be in Musicals
I recognize I'll be cast as the Granny, but that's okay! I have SO enjoyed being part of musicals...they make my heart soar. Sometime I hope they will again.

7. Visit Friends & Family
This is the one I most look forward to. You know that I am blessed with amazing people in my life...and, sadly, I don't get to see them nearly as much as I like. Heck, I have a friend with whom I've been trying to connect with for nearly a year! One day I'll hop in the car and just drive from friend to friend getting caught up on the last 30 years!

There's more on the list, but it gives you an idea. It is my coping mechanism of how I can even live with the inkling that these little people are not here in my home forever.

AND if this list doesn't get me through, I've started a list of things that I WON'T miss about caring for my little ones. I won't go into it, but let's just say cleaning up bodily fluids from shag carpet is near the top of the list...

What are YOU going to do when "someday" comes?!

1 comment:

The Detloff Family said...

I also get sad about the boys growing up, everyday I think to myself...or ask them "What happened to my little baby boy?" I love to see them grow and turn into smart and loving boys, but I miss those toothless smiles and chunky checks and thighs! I think on my list of "once they are grown" is sleeping in and eating food uninterrupted ;)